


Thin Fucking Ice

by theonetheonlyalexthemonarch



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bickering, Bisexual Everyone, Complicated Relationships, Lack of Communication, Mutual Pining, Open Relationships, Other, avoiding issues that should not be avoided, bisexual reader, god these two are such nerds, jeff goldblum is hot fight me, sort of ambiguously gendered reader, takes place during thor: ragnarok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 23:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14658348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonetheonlyalexthemonarch/pseuds/theonetheonlyalexthemonarch
Summary: After winding up on Sakaar a few days after the guy you love (who you are certain doesn't love you back), you have a bone to pick with him. Not about the deep, immense heartache he caused you, not about his most recent crimes, not even about the death of your shared home world.You could not believe he slept with the Jeff Goldblum look-alike without you.





	Thin Fucking Ice

**Author's Note:**

> alternatively titled: these nerds love each other but they can't admit it
> 
> Reader's gender is sort of. idk not a thing? mine isn't a thing so you get to wonder with me. also reader is bisexual, given that you sleep with two people who present as male (most of the time; Loki is #confirmed genderfluid in the comics and can any definite statements ever be said about jeff goldblum?) and one person who presents as female (that's the oc, her name is vice and honestly? i stan her. the only person on this stupid trash planet with even an ounce of intelligence). 
> 
> also reader's nickname is blue. it's a joke bc grandmaster's proper form is blue, and loki's proper form is blue, and the reader's nickname is blue, so together, they're all blue. grandmaster sings obnoxious earth songs about this in my head. "am i blue? am i blue? ain't these tears in my eyes tellin you?" "listen sir ik you're in control here but can you please shut the fuck up for thirty seconds yes i get the joke now please stop i am b e g g i n g you"
> 
> there's an extended rocky horror picture show reference that i refuse to apologize for. that's just how it be sometimes.

“I can’t believe you,” you said the second the the elevator doors closed. You were pretty goddamn mad about this whole thing honestly, and you had a fucking right to be. Was this a coping mechanism to ignore your actual issues in the moment? What? You didn’t know what those were, you were busy being full of righteous anger.

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. Your heart did a sort of pang. He was-- in trouble. That’s what mattered right now. He wasn’t anything else except in trouble.

“Hey!” you said, seeing that he was trying to ignore you. “Pay attention to me. I’m mad at you.” You put your hands on your hips.

“You’ll have to be far more specific,” he drawled in a bored tone. “There’s a lot to be mad at me about.”

Wasn’t that the truth. Wasn’t that the fucking truth from the man who left you, who made you think he was dead, who you l--

Focus. You weren’t going to be angry about that stuff, because you didn’t want to deal with that stuff right now. That stuff was hard to deal with and emotional and deep. You just wanted to be shallow right now.

And honestly, on a shallow superficial level, this was also pissing you off.

“You fucked him.”

He scoffed and looked away, but you could see the corner of his mouth flick upwards.

“You did! Loki, I swear to  _ fucking--” _ You made an irritated noise. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you fucked him without me.”

He glanced at you in a sidelong fashion, his smirking ever so slightly. (That was so  _ him--) _

“You did this on purpose,” you accused, poking him in the chest. “You knew he was just my type. You knew I was right behind you. And you didn’t wait for me, just so you could fuck him first.”

The doors of the elevator opened which provided him with the excuse he needed not respond to you and stride out past you into the hallway, still smirking. You really wanted to hit that perfect face of his. You wanted to kiss his stupid mouth that you missed so much, that you thought was gone forever, that you hadn’t seen since--

“Hey!” you said again as you stormed out after him. “I’m not finished!”

You had to run to catch up with his stupidly long legs. You grabbed his arm to try and stop him to no avail. You were practically running to keep up.

“It was a necessity,” he said, still smirking, still refusing to slow down in the slightest.

“Bullshit!” you hissed. “You just wanted sugar baby privellages.  _ And  _ you wanted to beat me. Goddamnit, you  _ knew _ I would like him. So instead of waiting for me, you just went right ahead. Just to get there first.”

“I didn’t  _ know _ you’d like him.”

“He looks identical to Jeff Goldblum! Of course you knew I’d like him!”

“You do understand,” he said with exaggerated patience, as though he were talking to a child, “that you can still sleep with him. The fact that I did so first does not bar you from doing the same.”

“I already did,” you grumbled. “But that’s not the point. Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Shut up. The  _ point _ is is that this was all so you could beat me in an unfair race to fuck the hottest sugar daddy. I don’t even think you like him as much as I do. You were just being a dick.”

“Okay,” he said, finally stopping and turning to you. “Let me clarify this for a second. You are mad at me, not because I may have jump-started Ragnarok, not because I got us stranded on a trash planet, not because I pretended to be dead, not because I abandoned my father on Earth so I could steal his identity and take over Asgard, not even because I had sex with someone outside of our arrangement, but you are in fact mad at me for sleeping with someone who you might’ve wanted to have sex with in a threesome with myself.”

You were quiet for a second. Every word he said pricked your heart a bit, reminding you of what he had done, reminding you of what you had suffered through while he was perfectly fine, off pretending to be Odin, having a laugh, being the king. He thought you weren’t mad about that? Really?

“Well, I mean,” you said, “when you put it like that, it sounds pretty stupid.”

He did that thing where he rolled his eyes and somehow telegraphed the motion in every line of his body and then turned away from you and continued walking down the hall.

“Hey, wait up!” You ran out in front of him and grabbed his shoulders to keep him still.

Apparently, he wanted you to be mad at him, but not as a joke like you had been. Well, you could oblige.

“Listen,” you said. “I’m mad about that other stuff. I really, really am, don’t you worry about that. I’m--” You cut yourself off before your voice could get too thick with emotion. “But listen. When Thor said he mourned you, well. I did, too. For like, a long time. But you don’t--”

You paused to look at his face and barked a laugh. He looked like he just swallowed a lemon.

“Yeah. You don’t like being reminded that your actions have consequences.” You relaxed your grip on his shoulders. “And besides, all that matters is-- you’re alive. You’re not dead. So I’d rather bicker with you over sleeping with a hot guy and than waste the time we’ve got. Who knows when you’ll betray us or ‘die’ the next time?”

He looked  _ very  _ uncomfortable. He really  _ didn’t _ like being reminded that his actions had consequences and emotional impact on people who cared about him. He liked to think he lived in a vacuum of mischief and fun and doing things for his benefit and it hurting no one, or at least, it didn’t  _ really _ hurt anyone.

It had been so long since you had seen him last and you knew for a fact that his most recent little trick seriously hurt at least one person. One person who cared about him and wanted him to be safe and happy and alright.

A sort of nervous suspense filled the air as you gazed at him, almost in a daze. You really, really loved him. You were nearly certain he didn’t return the feelings, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to love him and you wanted to protect him and you wanted--

“So yeah,” you said in a small voice, desperately trying to diffuse the tension. “I can’t believe you didn’t wait for me to sleep with him.”

It didn’t work, and the tension practically crackled around the two of you like thunder. He looked at you for a long time, looking at you with a sort of unreadable expression on his face. From where you were standing, you could almost pretend it was love.

You couldn’t help yourself. You took a step towards him. Then another. And another and another until you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him close and kissed him.

_ Fuck, _ you had missed him. You had missed him so much.

You couldn’t imagine that he felt the same as you, or had the same depth of feelings, but he obliged you and kissed you like he did, which you were eternally thankful for. He kissed you like he had missed you, full of passion and unspoken apology.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close and you tightened your arms around his neck in return. It had been so long-- and you thought that he was-- but he was  _ alive alive alive-- _

“Loki?”

You both pulled back so fast it gave you whiplash and quickly released the other to stand side by side as though nothing was happening. And came face to face with a very displeased Topaz.

It seemed the Grandmaster and his faithful servant had decided to go for a walk around his place. And his faithful servant didn’t seem so happy to find Loki making out with you in the middle of the hallway.

“Ah, Topaz--” Loki started, but he was interrupted.

“Loki?” the Grandmaster asked, sounding very amused.

“Grandmaster, I--”

“Wait--  _ Blue?” _ Oh, no. You turned your head away from the scene in front of you to see the girl you had shacked up with for the time you spent here. You didn’t say anything, but sort of grinned sheepishly in her direction. Oops. Guess she didn’t know you slept with other people.

“Excuse me,  _ Loki?” _ Topaz said again, more menacingly this time, trying to focus his attention.

“Erm,” Loki started, “well, Topaz, you--”

“Yes, Loki,” the Grandmaster said. He was clearly trying to keep from laughing.

“Grandmaster--”

“Hey!  _ Blue!” _

You turned your head to the girl again and tried to nonverbally communicate an apology, but--

“ _ Loki!” _ Topaz said, seeing how his attention had wandered again.

“Topaz--”

“Well, Loki?” the Grandmaster was near stitches.

“Grandmaster--”

“ _ Blue!” _ the girl shouted.

You turned to her and gestured sort of helplessly.

“Alright, that was pretty funny,” the Grandmaster cut in before Topaz could demand Loki’s attention again. “But that’s enough now. So, uh, Blue, if you could handle your girlfriend and then, then we can all have a uh, a talk.”

You gave the Grandmaster an awkward thumbs up and half-jogged over to where said girl was standing.

“Hi,” you said. “Um. So. I didn’t know you thought we were exclusive.”

“What?” she asked. “I didn’t think that. I just wanted to let you know that you were swapping spit with one of the Grandmaster’s favorites and that it wasn’t a good idea to do that.”

You blinked.

“Oh, okay. So. I’m not gonna stop, but thanks for the warning.”

She shrugged. “It’s your funeral. See you ‘round my place if you’re not dead?”

“Uhm,” you said. “Maybe? It’s sort of a reunited-with-a-lost-unrequited-lover night. So maybe not.”

“Kay,” she said. “It’s not unrequited, but whatever.”

“ _ Goodbye _ , Vice.”

“Bye.”

She walked off and you sighed in relief. And then jogged back to where the others were standing.

“We worked it out,” you said.

“Well, that’s, that’s just lovely, isn’t it,” the Grandmaster said, looking just as calm as he always did, with an amused smile on his face.

You wanted that blue face paint to be smeared all over your thighs. Again.

Focus. You had to focus.

“So, now that that, uh, little arrangement is sorted out, how about we, we sort this one out?” He raised his eyebrows with a little smirk on his face. “I’m kind of busy today, and I’m, I’m sure that the full story is all sorts of complicated, so if I could get the short version…?”

You glanced at Loki for a second. He made his sort of helpless, resigned face.

“Right,” you said, taking that as a sign that you should try and explain. “Well, uh. Loki and I. We’re… it’s not really a relationship, I don’t think, so--”

“It’s not?” Loki asked. There was a hidden depth to his voice, one that you couldn’t quite understand.

“Is it?” you asked in return. “I genuinely don’t know. I always thought of it more as an agreement-- or maybe it is a relationship? Or, like maybe not intimate enough… so is it a friendship with benefits?”

You looked at him for confirmation. Loki shrugged at you in response.

“Wow, thanks for helping me clear that up,” you said sarcastically. “I can sure see why they call you Silvertongue.”

He smirked. “You know  _ very well _ why they call me Silvertongue.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed him.

“ _ Anyway,” _ you said. “Short version. It’s complicated. We’re close. And we have sex sometimes.”  _ And I’m in love with him, but I will  _ never _ let him know that. _

“It’s complicated…” the Grandmaster echoed, still smirking. “So, so, I’ve got to ask. Does this ‘it’s complicated’-ship demand exclusivity? Because I have it on…” he paused to make eye contact with the both of you in turn. You felt your face get hot. “I have it on…  _ good authority _ that neither of you have been faithful since you came to Sakaar.”

Loki, bless him, had skin far too pale to hide the flush that covered his cheeks when the Grandmaster winked at him. You almost revelled in it until the Grandmaster turned his attention to you and licked his lips. Then you felt you were in a bit of a state.

“Er, no,” Loki said, finally being helpful. “Exclusivity is not a requirement for our… for us.”

You wondered if you should go for it. You really wanted to go for it. Loki had accidentally given you the perfect opportunity to go for it, and you knew he wanted to. And you certainly wanted to.

The Grandmaster did a wink-y thing at you.

You were gonna go for it.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah.” You bit your lip. “Uhm, in fact…”

You looked over at Loki to make sure this proposal was okay with him. The look he was giving the Grandmaster said that the proposal would be very, very okay with him.

“We wanted to be… not exclusive… with you?”

Loki made a noise in his throat that you took to mean ‘shut the fuck up, you utter moron, I can’t believe you, you’re an embarrassment to be around and you never should have been created.’ The Grandmaster looked as though he fully expected that answer and his eyes sparkled. Whose eyes actually sparkled, for heaven’s sake?

“I’m sure I can arrange a time,” he said. Was there ever a time where he  _ wasn’t _ amused? “But, uh, like I said, it’s a busy, busy day. Things to see, people to do.” He winked at you again. Your knees were weak.

“Yes, we understand,” Loki replied, seeing that you were incapacitated. “Have a good day.”

“Hm. I will,” he replied.

And then he was off, Topaz looking dubiously at the two of you and following after.

You turned back to Loki and practically collapsed in his arms.

“He’s so  _ hot,” _ you whined.

“You are  _ the _ most useless trophy twink I have ever met.”

“You’re not really in a position to talk, I think,” you snapped as best as you could while melting against him.

“I can control myself,” he shot back, dutifully holding you up. “Evidently, you can’t.”

“Oh, just try and tell me you’re not pleased. I dare you. We’ve now secured a hot sugar daddy to have a threesome with. I  _ dare _ you to tell me that you aren’t ecstatic about this news.” You looped your arms around his neck. “I dare you,” you said again, into his ear this time, low and dangerous.

He took a breath. You weren’t sure if it was a sigh of exasperation or a steadying breath to let him keep a cool head.

Suddenly, your feet no longer touched the ground.

You yelped as he lifted you into his arms.

“I think that were are well past due for a reunion,” he said, and started walking off in what you assumed was the direction of his room. “And excuse me if I want you to myself for a few hours before I have to share.”

“You’re just doing this to get out of admitting the fact that you think the Grandmaster is hot and I did us both a huge favor,” you grumbled.

He hummed noncommittally.

“Fine,” you said, leaning forward to attach your lips to his neck. You loved leaving marks on his neck. It was so pale that they’d show up for weeks afterward. “You’re off the hook this time, trickster,” you murmured. “But you’re on thin fucking ice.”

“I always am,” he replied, his voice a bit breathier than usual, a fact that you took far too much pride in. “I always am.”

And wasn’t that the fucking truth. Maybe after sex you’d talk about your problems. Maybe you never would. But even if you did, even if you sorted out every single problem you two had, even if you became the best-communicating couple in the multiverse, you were pretty sure that your relationship would stand firm and proud on thin fucking ice.

Just the way you both liked it.

**Author's Note:**

> i might write more in this universe, but i doubt it. i'm getting super into comics & mythological loki rn, so those are my main focuses. i got a whole bunch of au ideas floating around for that, and maybe a star trek ds9 au for him as well. i might write a post-sex scene later on of the grandmaster being obnoxious, but maybe not. i have a lot of work to do for school, and i'm applying for a new job bc the old place i used to work at closed down, and i'm now a professional freelance editor! that's exciting. but it's keeping me busy, so that might happen, that might never happen.
> 
> also ik i got like a million wips that i never finished. there's even more on my computer, i promise you. i think i'm up to something like 46 wips now. it's getting ridiculous. but i'll finish them when i finish them. eventually. probably when i'm a better writer.


End file.
